


In Love With You

by hma1313



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hma1313/pseuds/hma1313
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jimmy comes back to Downton, and things might be okay after all. // set post s6e8</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> And here's my attempt at fixing the mess that Fellowes left us in after the end of s6e8.

Jimmy had been thinking about going back to Downton for a while. Not to work there or anything - he was sure His Lordship would never allow it - but he missed the other servants. Well, that was probably a bit broad. Really, Thomas was the only person Jimmy missed. He missed their friendship, the card games, the shared cigarettes, the unspoken truth that there was something between them that probably shouldn't have been there, a bond that wasn't all that platonic. A bond that had Jimmy regretting everything he put Thomas through after the 'incident', a bond that made him long for Thomas' touches after Thomas stayed well clear of him, a bond that had made the tears fall from Jimmy's eyes as he'd been on that cart travelling down the driveway of the house after he left.

In short, Jimmy Kent was in love with Thomas Barrow, and he had totally come to terms with that.

He just wished he was going back to Downton under better circumstances.

As he sat on the train from London to York, he read the letter from Baxter that had arrived all of two hours ago again. He and Thomas hadn't exactly written much since Jimmy had left Downton, but they'd exchanged Christmas cards last year, so Jimmy figured that was where she'd got his address from.

_Dear Jimmy,  
_

_I don't know how to put this. Something terrible has happened at Downton. It's something that we all deeply wish never happened in the first place, but here we are. I was walking into the village with Mr Molesley the other day when I suddenly realised that Thomas was about to do something awful to himself. I rushed up back to the house and, according to Dr Clarkson, got there just in time. He tried to kill himself, Jimmy. He cut his wrists and I've never seen so much blood in my life. He looked so pale and lifeless and it kills me to think he was so sad. We all saw him becoming more and more isolated from us all but we never saw this coming, you know? He's recovering now but he really needs a friend in this difficult time as Lord knows we haven't been the friends we should have been. Please come, Jimmy. I know you meant a lot to him and him to you too._

_I hope to see you soon._

_Best wishes,_

_Phyllis Baxter_

Another man came into the comparment and Jimmy tucked the letter into his inside pocket of his jacket, picking up an abandoned newspaper next to him. The words blurred as he felt the tears dripping down his cheeks, and he lifted the newspaper higher, willing the train to go faster so he could get to Downton as soon as he could.

* * *

The walk up the drive seemed longer than Jimmy remembered. The house looked exactly the same, standing out proudly against the trees, a golden castle against the skyline. The grounds seemed deathly quiet, only the odd songbird breaking the silence that surrounded the property.

Jimmy went round the back, feeling as though he was going for his interview with Carson all over again as he wandered in through the open back door and looked around for any fellow human life form. He passed some maids who giggled at the sight of him, but he carried on and found himself in the kitchen, where Mrs Patmore and Daisy were preparing dinner.

"Well I'll be damned," Mrs Patmore said when she looked up from the table and caught sight of him standing in the doorway. "Never thought I'd see the day when Jimmy Kent came back to say hello."

"What you doing here?" Daisy asked as she chopped vegetables.

"I'm here to see Mr Barrow," Jimmy said. "Miss Baxter sent me a letter and I came as soon as I could."

Mrs Patmore and Daisy exchanged a glance over the vegetables and egg rack. "He's... not well," Mrs Patmore eventually said. "Been through a lot."

"I've heard."

Mrs Patmore sighed. "Well, you can take him up a sandwich or something. He's going to need his strength for the wedding."

"Wedding?" Jimmy echoed as Mrs Patmore busied herself with beginning to butter bread. "Who's getting married?"

"Lady Mary. It'll be nice to see her happy again, I suppose. Last wedding we had was Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes', so it'll be a lot different from that one, even if this one's not supposed to be as big as when she married Mr Crawley."

"Carson and Mrs Hughes are married? A lot's changed around here, hasn't it?"

"Yes," Mrs Patmore said with a sad smile as she put the sandwich plate onto a tray with a glass of water. "It has."

* * *

 

Jimmy's hand shook as he raised it to the door of Thomas' room. It wasn't even Thomas' room, it was one of the double rooms that the footmen or hall boys used, but this one hadn't been occupied in a while as the number of staff shrunk and more started living in the village instead of the house.

His knuckles hovered in front of the door for a good thirty seconds before they eventually made contact with the wood. The knock seemed too hard, too formal, seeming to echo around the empty hallway as Jimmy waited for Thomas to grant him entry.

"Come in," came the call. It sounded weak, as though it took Thomas a lot of effort, as though he'd rather not have visitors. Jimmy turned the doorknob, his fingers slipping slightly against the cold metal, and the floorboards creaked as he walked into the room.

"What the - _Jimmy_?"

"Sandwich?"

It sounded stupid in the moment, but Jimmy didn't know what else to say short of blurting out "I love you" and throwing his arms around Thomas. He placed the tray onto the dresser and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying not to look at the bandages peeking out of the ends of Thomas' sleeves. There was an orange on the bedside table that Jimmy decided not to question about as he looked Thomas up and down. He was thin, too thin, his cheekbones too sharp, his eyes sunken back into his face, his skin pale. He was a mere ghost of the man Jimmy remembered, the man Jimmy had fallen in love with.

"What happened, Thomas?" he asked.

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

A small smile crept onto Thomas' lips, there so briefly Jimmy was half sure he'd imagined it. Thomas spoke of how he'd sought treatment for his ways, treatment to make him more like other men, and the aftermath of all of that, which made Jimmy wince and wish he'd never left. He spoke of how everyone deliberately kept him away from Andy, the new footman, because they were scared of something happening between them, how Carson had reprimanded him after he'd seen Andy coming out of his room even though he'd only been trying to teach the lad to read. Carson in general, who'd constantly been on his back for the past few months about finding a new job, making little digs and remarks that had affected Thomas a lot more than he'd ever let on.

"It's all my fault," Thomas said as he finished his sorry tale, tears escaping from his eyes, running in rivulets down his cheeks. "It's all my fault, Jimmy. I should've made more of an effort, it's all my fault, I deserve this for what I've done -"

"You do not deserve this," Jimmy cut across, his voice raising slightly. "I know you've done some shitty things in your time but we all have, Thomas. But I also know that this is not your fault and you definitely do not deserve this. No one deserves this, especially not you."

"You really think so?" Thomas attempted to wipe the tears away, but all it did was smear them across his cheek, the light from the window reflecting them and giving his cheeks a pearlescent glow.

"Yes, you bloody idiot. Come here." Jimmy pulled Thomas into a tight embrace where he could feel the other man's sobs racking through his entire body, and Jimmy rubbed his hands up and down Thomas' back, as though comforting a small child. He could feel the shoulder of his jacket getting wetter the more Thomas cried, but that didn't matter. Thomas did.

"Why are you here?" Thomas mumbled in between sobs. "Why now?"

"Because I'm in love with you," Jimmy said simply. "Because I'm in love with you and I never should've been so stupid as to sleep with Anstruther and I never should have left and I'm sorry and I love you, alright?"

Thomas pulled away from Jimmy and looked at him with wide eyes. "You really mean that?" he asked, self-consciously pulling his sleeves further down over his hands. "You love me?"

"Yes, Thomas, I do, is that really so hard to believe?"

"Maybe," Thomas said, reaching up and running a tentative finger along Jimmy's jawline. "I don't know what to believe anymore if I'm honest."

"Would this help?" Jimmy whispered, closing the gap between them and gently brushing his lips against Thomas' own. 

"I think it would," Thomas replied. "It really would."

**Author's Note:**

> hang out with me on [tumblr](http://pllsetskyonice.tumblr.com/) for a questionable mix of fandoms and ships


End file.
